Christmas is nearing, and I thought it might be necessary to remind those of you who are getting up in years how to unwrap any gift you might receive this weekend. This lesson comes complete with visual aids, complements of my godson Bradley.

Step 1
Get as close to the package as possible. The less space between you and your target, the better.

Step 2
As quickly and haphazardly as possible, remove all packing contents, wrapping paper, etc. Worry not about the displacement of contents found inside the box, as an older person will be along later to recover said objects.

Step 3
Discard gift and spend the rest of the morning playing with the box and ignoring the gift until you're completely exhausted and fall asleep under the Christmas tree.

Always keep a bit of the child in your heart... you'll be much happier for it in the end.


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